It can’t be done

By | August 20, 2017

Author: Mr and Mrs DDU.

One of the biggest hurdles to overcome most challenges in life is not having the belief that you can do it. Sometimes that’s not having the belief in yourself or other people not believing in you, which can have an effect on you.

Sadly, not having the belief of family or friends can be so off-putting that you might not even try to attempt something.

You might (seriously) say that you want to run a marathon and you’re laughed at.

You might say that you want to lose 10kg and are laughed at.

You might say you are aiming to retire by the age of 40 (with a million dollars) and you might get a whole range of reactions.

The biggest thing with achieving an achievable, but difficult, goal is to believe you can do it and just start going for it.

Running only half a marathon if you were aiming for a marathon is still a great achievement. Losing 5kg is still a great achievement. Retiring by 45 or 50 is still a wonderful achievement.

We think that’s partly why we are so private about our finances. We don’t want to have to justify our choices or defend our financial position (created from hard work, high savings and investing). We don’t want the negative or disbelieving attitudes. Negativity can have a constraining effect on your motivation for your goals.

We have our goals set out. We have our plan and we are working on it. It’s also important that we make sure not to look for approval from other people, having ‘status’ or looking impressive doesn’t make our achievements more worthy. What our family/other people around us think of our lifestyle choices won’t bring us more or less happiness at the end of the day. We are working hard for us and the most important place to find approval is from within.

At first we thought it would be impossible to make a $42k gross salary work between us for a household budget when we first moved out, but we did it (we were only saving $200 a month but it worked). We believed we could do it and took the frugal steps to make it work. Now we are sure we can achieve FIRE by 45 – or maybe sooner.

Final thoughts

This is something we have to keep telling ourselves. You can only achieve something by setting out to do it. Don’t let ‘haters’ who don’t believe in you stop you from trying to achieve whatever you want. And don’t let your own disbelief stop you either.

11 thoughts on “It can’t be done

  1. Amber tree

    do some research make a plan, set challenging goals and then put in place a system… Combine this with a positive attitude and a lot will be possible.

  2. Dividend Diplomats

    DDU –

    LOVE this post. Turning off the noise, even from family if that’s what it takes, is a great thing to do. Then, starting marching forward on that desire. Instead of asking, “what if I fail”? One should ask, “What if I suceeed”? Or even, “What if I surpass my dreams beyond any sort of imagination”? Positive thinking and forward action is key. Time is now, so let’s get up and start doing things to get us to where we want/see our selves.


  3. Miss Balance

    This is absolutely true!
    Instead of focusing on all the things that could go wrong, put in place a backup plan and focus on all the things that could go right.
    Hearing you say you made $42k combined salary work is actually motivational for me to find ways to cut back as well. I’d much rather hear stories from people who made it work than from those who say it can’t be done.
    Keep on chugging towards that goal.
    Have a great day!

  4. pia

    Yes, yes, yes. The biggest lesson I’ve had to learn to enable adulting was how to ignore and how to pick and choose through the million and one advice people throw at you whether you want it or not. It is still admittedly hard to tune out the noise in your own head, but definitely something I strive for!

  5. J @ Hey, It's Just Money!

    Preach! Yes to everything you wrote here! A few years ago, I did this fitness program called “Insanity”. My closest friends and relatives said they’d give me a few days before I quit. I completed 60 days of it. I actually found the motivation to do it more/better because people said I couldn’t do it.

    I’m so proud of you guys for what you’ve done and achieved, for what you’re doing and for your perseverance. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for your family. 🙂 I’ll always be your friend and your fan!

  6. Mrs. ETT

    If you’ve made a plan, broken your BHAG down into actionable steps, then you have knowledge the others don’t. They only see the marathon, they aren’t thinking about you jogging for 5 minutes tomorrow and working up to 10 minutes next week. You don’t need to worry about their approval, you just have to step outside the front door faithfully every single day. And to show how contrary people can be, apparently once you accomplish your huge goal, you’ll still find people that tell you it’s impossible!

  7. FerdiS

    Excellent post! Say NAY to naysayers!

    The trick is to trick yourself into believing you can accomplish something against (seemingly) all odds.

    Take care and keep fighting!

  8. AustralianDividendInvestor

    I like this one team! Call me old fashioned but I don’t think financials need to be shared with all and sundry. Particularly if you are doing something different than usual.

    I’d expect the naysayers to be filthy with jealousy if you guys manage to retire early.

  9. Strong Money Australia

    Good reminder here guys 🙂

    Beliefs are so powerful it’s unbelievable. I like the Henry Ford quote best….. Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right!

    So simple, so powerful, so true

  10. Mr Mofi

    Couldn’t agree more with your post and all of the comments above. We definitely find family to be a big one. We love them and trust their opinions a little too much sometimes! Breaking out of that bounded space in to the amazing world of possibilities that exist is only a matter of imagination, planning and determination. I love that you guys are so clear about this, it will help you on the path greatly!
    We have found that actually living away from family for a time now has allowed us to independently solidify our plans and plot our own course. Of course it is sad to be so far away from them but is isn’t forever and we still keep up with the goings on, just with less noise!
    All the best!


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